1997 was a turbulent year for our family. I myself have spent every holiday of it in the hospital or emergency room. (Melanie had a 104 fever on Thanksgiving so we even missed that). I remember watching fireworks on the fourth of July in the ER with Kristen as well as the evening of Easter with her and I don't even want to think about New Years. I hope the coming year will bring new hope for us. It really can't get any worse.

I wanted to share the below story with everyone.

Many strange phenomena have taken place in my life since Kristen passed away...I can only attribute it to divine intervention.

One thing that happened last month went this way........

The night before Kristen died she was adamant that I find these two books of hers...one was Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss and the other was Where the Sidewalk ends by Shel Silverstein. I searched everywhere in my house for these books but they were not to be found and this was strange because she had them earlier that day. I cursed myself that I couldn't find these books because I wanted to do everything I could to make her feel better. Well I never found them until a couple weeks ago...they were in places that there is no way possible she could of put them that day...one was upstairs and one was in the basement...she couldnt navigate stairs. I also found them separately during times I was extremely down. The first one Green eggs and Ham I found downstairs under my workbench....and I felt electricity as soon as I picked it up. For this to mean something you have to remember that Kristen was a big teddy bear lover and had hundreds of them. As I opened the cover of the book out fell out one of those stickers that she got everytime she saw the doctor...and on the sticker was a teddy bear waving with the words "I'm OK". Of course it was one I had never seen before. But I felt strongly she was telling me in her own way that she was OK. The next book when I found it was a little more stranger....It was up on shelf in her bedroom...one I am sure that I checked several times while looking for it. I was afraid to open it to see what was in it but I was compelled to do it. Inside was a painted picture of a teddy bear with hearts around it and the hand printed words "I Love You Dad"!!! Also in it was a calendar she had made for her mother...she had done the entire thing by hand and had taken the time to write all the birthdays and holidays in and painted a picture on the back and had I Love you Mom on it. Since she could barely write these two things must of taken her a very long time to do, yet I never saw her working on them and dont know when she did it. The point is she wanted til the end and aftwerward, me to know that she loved me and that she would remain with me.

Whatever God you believe in....know that there is one. At ten Kristen knew that, and truly believed it. I see Kristen everywhere. Because Kristen was always loving and giving...to the end ....she knew what life was about at the tender age of ten. No matter how much suffering there is, I know I will see Kristen again when I die and it is through knowing that....that I achieve the strength to carry on with my mission that I have been put here on earth to accomplish.