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Chapter Thirty Seven

In terms of dealing with her grief, Lisa was doing fine until the Monday morning after Bernice's departure. She awoke expecting the smell of freshly brewed coffee coming from the kitchen. Still half asleep, she had momentarily forgotten that Mama was gone. Now the house was empty.
A pain like that of a stake being driven through, ruthlessly pierced her heart. She got up and went into the living room.
Everywhere she looked reminded her of Mama. She held back her tears but choked with emotion as she pictured the family sitting around the kitchen table having breakfast on Sunday mornings. She and Sissy would be dressed up in their Sunday best. Mama was beautiful. And Daddy would wear a suit and tie. Back then, everything was right.
In a state of depression, Lisa picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello, Doctor Summers residence."
"Hi Anna," she said in a low, dejected tone of voice. "This is Lisa. Is Doc Summers home?"
"He sho is, child, let me git him."
"Lisa," sounded the doctor. "It's funny you should call, I was just thinking about you. If you're not doing anything this morning why don't you come over for breakfast? Anna was just about to start cooking. We'll wait for you."
"You knew I wanted to see you, didn't you?" she replied with a grateful half-grin on her face.
"Now how would I know that?" he laughed.

Lisa occupied herself with thoughts of the doctor while readying herself for the trip to the ranch. She never ceased to be amazed at this man's keen sense of intuition and apparent telepathic powers. It was his contention, she remembered him saying, that, "all people possess the potential for these capabilities." And, "all of us are intended to evolve into multisensory beings, possessing God-given gifts that stretch above and beyond the five normal senses." She remembered him also telling her that Jesus exercised the full range of these abilities, and clearly suggested that we do likewise!
Lisa was met at the door by a smiling Doc Summers with Anna standing behind. He had that inquiring, yet apprehensive look on his face. After the three of them had finished breakfast, Lisa and the doctor strolled out to the pond, his favorite place on the grounds.
"How can I help you today, my dear?" he asked as he skipped pebbles across the pond just as if he were a young boy.
"I want to know why my mother couldn't have a miracle like Daddy did?" The doctor skipped one more pebble and then slowly made his way over to the picnic table and sat across from her so he could gather her full attention and evaluate her reactions.
A small yellow tinted leaf loosed itself from a branch above and gracefully floated down to land on the table before them. "Look at that little leaf. Is it not a miracle to the leaves remaining that this little leaf has died yet they still live. Who decides which leaf falls first? It certainly isn't this huge oak tree that my father planted when I was a boy. This may not be the best example one could use as a metaphor, yet it still reminds me that such is the case with all life forms. The final determination ultimately comes from a force greater than we.
"The difference between the leaf and us human beings is that we have been given the gift of choice. Granted we can't control events of fate that are consistent with the grand, divine course of order and evolutionary design. And we must all eventually leave these mortal bodies. But, by the grace of God, coupled with our own wills and desires, we can extend and improve our lives if we so choose. Basically, we can choose the quality of life we wish. And there can always be quality.
"Lisa, your mother made so-called mistakes and chose her own path. Nonetheless, she was a miracle! I am about to tell you something I have not told another soul. I considered telling your sister three years ago, but something told me it would not be wise at that time.
"Over three years ago your mother's condition, clinically speaking, was such that she should not have lasted more than a year. I believe that she defied the odds and stayed alive for a reason. And I believe that reason was you. She desperately wanted to see you again before she died.
"I cannot claim responsibility for keeping her alive the past few years. It was by her own mind and through her own will and faith that her disease remained in remission. No, she did not experience a miraculous physical healing, but she definitely prolonged her life beyond statistical odds and what medical science can explain.
"And she did, indeed, experience a most profound spiritual healing. And this was largely the result of finding resolution with you. I'm sure glad you came when you did."
Lisa nodded, allowing herself to entertain grateful thoughts of her friend Bernice for insisting she make the contact.
"I don't know what kind of personal relationship your mother had with God, but I do know she had one. Pastor Bacon confided to me the fact that she was strong in her faith."
Lisa looked upward into the clear blue sky and took a deep breath. She was mesmerized by the story she was hearing. At that moment another yellow tinted leaf floated down to land gently on the table in front of her. She picked it up and playfully rolled the stem between her thumb and forefinger. It was odd because she used her left hand rather than her normal right hand. Mama was left-handed. It was as if to verify the truth of what she was hearing. And now feeling.
She looked up from the leaf smiling softly. The doctor too was smiling. He had a mystical look on his face signifying his understanding.

"Regarding your father," he said, interrupting this semi-trance they both enjoyed for a couple of minutes. "I am intimately familiar with his recovery from war injuries. This includes the healing procedures he received in the VA hospital. I have a copy of his hospital records and x-rays. He was a patient of mine after his return and I used to see him quite a bit.
"We became good friends and he told me the whole story. And he adored you from the moment I delivered you into this world." Lisa blushed. She felt a warm glow and for a moment even thought she smelled Daddy's favorite cologne. "I must say, that from a medical standpoint, your father was, indeed, the recipient of a miracle. When you ask me how these phenomena came to pass, I have to say, I frankly don't know. No one does, for sure.
"However, I can give you an opinion based on my own knowledge and experience, so listen up." Doc Summers reached over and flipped the switch on his portable tape recorder.
"It is believed by many, particularly some of those who embrace what I refer to as traditional religion, that the healing force comes from the outside. A spiritual or cosmic beam or in-filling process of some sort directed to a specific individual. That God is up there, as a separate deity, calling the shots.
"I don't completely share that belief. I tend to lean toward the metaphysical hypothesis, contending that the force comes from within." Lisa's face registered doubt at this statement. "Now then, this does not contradict the Bible," said the doctor in response to her questioning look.
"I believe it to be consistent with the teachings of Jesus, the greatest healer of all time.
"The potential for healing lies within the healer as well as the one in need of healing. This comes from the premise that we are not separate from our creator's spiritual force. Instead, we are one with it. We are all one with and an integral part of the universe. Or, if you choose, as I do, one with, as an integral part of, or extension of God. God is omnipresent, omnipotent, around us, and in us, as us."
Lisa gave the Doctor a hollow, quizzical look. "Doc," she said. "Because of what I have experienced and seen myself, I can accept what you say, but my mind still can't comprehend it."
"Think of the universe as a giant organism and the earth as a sub-organism within it. Try to think of it all together, as one whole with interconnecting parts or wholes within themselves that form to make up this grand whole. There cannot be anything outside the whole. And God is the whole and the whole is God. Everything is in God and God is in everything. And God is spirit. I am convinced that as we begin to comprehend and experience our spiritual nature, our intuitive awareness of this becomes increasingly acute and we begin to progressively sense the truth of it, and thereby grow in our wholeness."
Lisa looked at the doctor, still perplexed. "I know that what you're saying is probably true but I still have a hard time with it."
"I know," he replied with a sensitive, understanding look on his face. "Lisa, it is something that you will have to discover for yourself. And you will, simply because you have the desire to do so.

"Let me try to help by giving you another analogy. The function of spirit can be likened to the human body. When a part of the body is injured or attacked by disease, it employs what I call, 'The System of Flesh Management.' Did you know that any cell in the body can send messages to any other part of the body? Those functions of the body that are needed to attend to a given problem are automatically put into motion to take whatever action is necessary to quickly respond to the injury in a healing fashion. It's done automatically on both a physical and conscious level.
"For example: The finger says, I'm cut and need help. Within a fraction of a second, the brain is notified and immediately goes to work. First, within seconds, there is a increase in blood supply to the cut area, blood vessels dilate and, if necessary, the heart beats faster to supply more blood. Then white blood cells arrive. They analyze the situation and then send out chemical messages so that specific cells, designed to eliminate a particular invading germ, can be dispatched to the area. If they are not designed to deal with a particular virus or germ, they adapt.
"All the while, the blood is cleansing the wound and coagulates at the right time to stop the bleeding. It's really amazing, when you stop and think about it. In parallel with all this, the conscious mind is responding. It might say, for instance, 'this is a bad cut and I better get to a doctor.'
"Lisa, I have been a doctor all my life and I remain in awe of the splendor of the human body, especially the brain, which basically we know very little about. The active life force remains a mystery, from a scientific stand-point.
"While we're on the subject, let me take it a step further. As you know though, the body is not always successful in healing itself from all the terrible things we do to it. And our modern medicine, more often than we like to admit, also fails to do the job. So then what do we do? OK, this is when, through intense prayer, we appeal to our in-dwelling God.
"It is also incumbent on us to utilize the power of the mind through meditation and directed concentration. Or a better way to put it is that we are empowered by God through our conscious mind to heal ourselves, others, or, as a matter of fact, when our intent is pure, accomplish most anything we set our minds to. Like I said before though, the most important part of the process is prayer. And believe me, as I've also said before, when the chips are down, almost everyone does it."
"Yes, I know that," said Lisa in a solemn, humble voice. "Except bringing it up again reminds me that I do it, Daddy did it, Mama did it, Sissy does it and my friend Bernice has become a believer too. And there is no doubt in my mind...Prayer is powerful!"
Doc Summers reached across the table and affectionately laid one of his huge hands over Lisa's hands, which were folded in front of her on the table. "I am again reminded of my favorite quotes from the Bible. Jesus, the greatest healer of all time, said, 'With God all things are possible.' And I really believe that.
"Healing through spiritual media occurs simply by asking. 'Ask and it will be given to you,' the Man said. I believe, however, that the asking, be it for yourself or someone else, should require that you truly believe there will be a positive result.
"We too, like the little cells at the tip of that cut finger, can call for help when needed to address any problem we may face, not just illness.
"My father and I had many discussions on this subject," continued the doctor. "And incidentally, we never could quite agree. He would lean toward the position that God was separate from us. I would say, how can God simultaneously respond to the multitudes, who are simultaneously asking through their individual or collective prayers, if he were not already there? This again brings me to the idea of oneness. It occurs to me that I should explain it another way. First of all, please forgive me if it sounds like I'm repeating myself. I sometimes repeat a point, in a little different way, if I think it will help a person understand.
"After all, when you go church on Sunday, doesn't the minister do this week after week? So bear with me." They both laughed.
Doc Summers continued. "Try to visualize this, Lisa. Presume that anything we view as being outside is actually part of the inside. That you are actually part of the inside and, to say it again, that we are all mysteriously interconnected or linked together as part of the greater whole. Even though you are a unique individual entity or whole yourself, you still can no more be outside of the spiritual whole of God than that little cell, at the tip of the cut finger, is outside of your body.
"Jesus also said, 'I and the Father are one.' Most of us consider ourselves separate because we only understand what we see from a three dimensional viewpoint or that which is limited to our five senses. The truth is that we are definitely spiritually connected. This is the reality. Your separation from anything worldly, or unworldly, is but an illusionary state of mind. The evidence supporting this is overwhelming. The purpose of this discussion today, was to try to help you understand the mysterious world of miracles.
"There is more, and I'll make a separate tape for you on it later. You have enough to think about for now. I hope this helps you see that your mother's and father's stories, the little leaves that lay before us and the unique way your life is unfolding are all miracles.
"I'll close this off by quoting the great Einstein. 'There are only two ways of living your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle and the other is as though everything is a miracle."
Doc Summers ceased speaking, giving Lisa a chance to ponder. She stared out over the little pond, which was beginning to swallow some of the leaves that had fallen into it from huge oak tree branches that hung high over. She could not express it in words but something deep inside was beckoning her to accept, without proof supported by fact, what she was hearing as truth.
With an inquisitive look she asked. "When you look at it like that it kind of makes it hard for you to judge another person, doesn't it?"
"Indeed it does" he replied, emphatically as he reached over and turned off the tape recorder. "I don't doubt that you have been paying attention to what I have been telling you, but the other half of your mind is on something else. And my guess is that it has to do with Tim."

Lisa threw her shoulders back, jerking to attention. Her eyes saddened. "You're right! How did you know?" she asked in surprise.
"Just a good guess." Doc Summers, being psychically astute, knew what was on her mind but kept quiet about it up until now.
"How can I even be concerning myself with my love life at a time like this?" she asked, feeling genuine shame.
"Dispel that thought immediately," the doctor ordered. "You can grieve and get on with your life at the same time. And the sooner the better. Isn't this the way your mother would want it?"
"I guess so," she meekly replied.
"So let's stop feeling guilty and talk about Tim."
"OK," she said hesitatingly, not yet feeling absolved of guilt.
"Lisa, I sensed there was a problem with him the minute we met. Yet, I knew it was meant for him to be here. Perhaps this paradox was one of the reasons I became so upset that day. And I'll tell you, if he wasn't such a damn good doctor and showed such promise, I would have already fired him.
"Tim has to come face to face with that big ego of his and strive to discover his own truth, just like the rest of us. He has at least taken the first steps. I've seen it in his actions and reactions to situations at the clinic recently. More importantly, insofar as you are concerned, I saw it at your mother's house the morning of her death. He responded to your need and did it sincerely. For him, that took a great deal of courage."
"Yeah, but since then he hasn't even called me. I love the guy, Doc, I've got it real bad and I don't want to lose him."
As sympathetically as he could put it, the doctor responded. "It's his move, Lisa. Understand that! It's his move! You can't force it! And remember, you just acknowledged that one should refrain from judging. So try to apply that to Tim." With compassion written in his eyes, the doctor smiled broadly.
Lisa managed a smile back. "I plan on going to the clinic tomorrow and spending the day with the girls and helping out. I'll have a better idea of what I'm going to do after that. In any event, I'll come by and see you again before I leave for California.
"You better." Doc Summers snarled with mock ferociousness.

He and Anna stood on the porch and waved at Lisa. She sketched a returning farewell gesture, and started down the long winding driveway toward the main highway.