Last update 4/17/2007
In July, 1986, my mind "turned off". Somehow, I continued to work,
though I don't know how, Did wonderful things, like lose the car in
the parking garage, get lost in the car. I was a teaching nurse in a
large clinic / hospital. It is strange that no one noticed a problem
--other than "veering" when I walked.
I vomited a lot, but privately, in rest rooms. I ate crushed ice and
crackers at work, trying to settle my stomach. Over a period of months,
I lost 50 pounds. I saw many doctors, but even a history of melanoma,
which likes to go to the brain, did not prompt them to check my head.
Every time a test showed a normal stomach and did not explain the
vomiting, there was one more bit of "proof" that this was "all in my
head." By mid- October, I was signed into the psychiatric unit of
the hospital I worked in, still off-balance, still vomiting, still
falling down. Even a siezure in there was misinterpreted through the
psychiatric view.
I spent 2 weeks in there before they finally scanned my head and found a
very big tumor "occupying one third of the posteror fossa" plus a lot of
edema and hydrocephalus. (The tumor was mainly cerebellar, 4th ventricle
area.)
There was a quick transfer from Psychiatry to Neurosurgery, from being
responsible for washing my own clothes, etc, to complete bed rest with
I.V.Decadron. They found the tumor on a Tuesday and scheduled surgery on
that Friday, telling my family they might have to do it sooner as an
emergency, but they wanted to try to get the swelling down first. I have
a hole in my skull that they made, preparing for a shunt that was not puit in during that surgery.
After that surgery, I can remember being told that it was "meningioma
... benign ...
slow-growing ... wouldn't come back." Well, it was atypical (grade II),
not benign; and it came back, malignant, in 4 years.
That one was found when I was hospitalized (in a different hospital,
different doctors) for another reason, and my head was scanned the
morning after admission. This was 8 months after a "clean" MRI.
After its removal, I had a regular schedule of visits to the
neurosurgeon and the neurologist and MRI's every 3 or 6 months for 5
years. On the 6-year MRI, there it was again -- big.-- one year after a
clean MRI. So I had a 3rd posterior fossa craniotomy -- incision
down the back of the head and neck.
This time the neurosurgeon fixed a hole in the dura with a cadaver
patch. After the 2nd surgery , the scar tissue had not knit together
properly, leaving a hole through which cerebro-spinal fluid leaked. The
3rd tumor was apparently spread through that hole, so it had to be
patched.
What is life like now? In one word, different. Like nothing I had
planned. I've lost my nursing job, my marriage, my step-family. But I've
gained too. Though I cannot hold a job as a nurse, I can stil share my
nursing knowledge with these list members or sometimes in person. The
marriage probably would have ended anyway. There is a tremendous amount
of support and caring via e-mail on the lists, like the BRAINTMR list.
I've been able to attend several Brain Tumor conferences and meet
fellow - travelers on this road. I've been amazed at the adulation
received when all I've done as a "long term survivor" is stay alive. We
might have problems,............................
BUT WE SURVIVE!!!!!
ADDED 4/17/2007
- I completely forgot to include the fact that I had radiation
treatments in early 1997: 5000 rads (50 grey) in 25 sessions. The
radiation was basically ear to ear for a small part of tumor #3
(October,1996) that was "inoperable". It did cause me to lose hair
behind my ears, but that has grown back. The hair loss really didn't
show, as my other hair covered it. The radiation also "burned" my ear
lobes, and I was given a soothing ointment called AQUAFOR for that I
had some vomiting though that was probably due to the location of the
radiation -- near the brainstem), and I remember being very tired. On
the last day, my "graduation", I was given a diploma stating that was
entitled to "pampering".
.
- In January and again in February, 2006, due to hydrocephalus (
"waterhead" -- a buildup of fluid in the ventricles causing pressure on
the brain tissue ) I had to have a V-P shunt -- ventriculo-peritoneal,
brain-to-belly drainage -- surgically put in and then revised in
another surgery. The revision was because the abdominal end of the
shunt coiled up and was not draining properly thus causing hydrocephalus
again. The development of the hydrocephalus was blamed on the scar
tissue from the three craniotomies, plus the radiation, causing a
blockage. Now I've had hydrocephalus three times: before the first
tumor, before the shunt insertion, and before the shunt revision. I
think all that ICP --Increased Intracranial Pressure -- has caused some
damage, but not enough to stop me from doing things like writing this
.
.
-
Brain-tumor-wise, I'm doing OK. I still have yearly MRI's with contrast
to check on the tumor, and , as of November, 2006, it was not back.
Apparently the radiation did it's job. I've been told that I'm more at
risk now from shunt malfunction than from tumor return. They can check
on my re-programmable shunt with a CT scan without the contrast that I'm
allergic to, and as of late January, 2007, the shunt is OK. I've
outlasted my neurosurgeon, who retired in November, 2006. Since the
brain tumors, I've had other cancers: 6 bladder tumors, and two skin
cancers diferent from the melanoma I had in 1976. I'm very proud of my
CANCER SURVIVOR pin, which I wear daily. My handicapped parking hanger
card (I walk with a walker) says "Expiration Date: NONE" -- I'll go
with that.
